Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse includes any abusive behaviour repeatedly used by one person to control and/or dominate another person with whom they have or have had an intimate relationship.

It also includes the exertion of control and/or domination of one family member over another.

Domestic abuse can be physical, emotional, mental, sexual, or financial. It might be a combination of one, some, or all of these elements.

There is no excuse for it. It is not caused by anger, depression, unemployment, alcohol or drug use. It is caused by one persons desire, usually male, to have power and control over another, usually female.

Abusers use different tactics to exert power and control, which can include:

Violence:

physical or sexual; punching, slapping, spitting, kicking, burning, sexual assault, rape.

Isolation:

won’t let you see family or friends, or sulks and creates arguments when you do, makes you or persuades you to move away from family and friends.

Verbal Abuse:

calls you names, tells you you’re fat / stupid / a slag / worthless/ a bad mother, destroys your self-esteem.

Bullying:

shouting, breaking things, using physical presence to intimidate you, sulking, constant questioning, humiliating you in front of others.

Financial Control:

keeps you short of money by spending it, hiding it, or preventing you from working, keeps you dependent.

Using children:

tells you you’re a bad mother, spoils the children but won’t discipline them, forces you to get pregnant, threatens to hurt them.

Blame:

tells you the abuse is your fault, if you were different then the abuse would stop, you nag too much, you don’t keep the house tidy, you wind him up.

Repression:

tells you that you have no rights, that no-one will believe you, that it is a private matter so no-one will help you, that it is not really abuse Domestic abuse can and does affect anyone, regardless of race, ethnic or religious group, class, sexuality, disability or lifestyle.