Are you being bullied?

By a teacher

Teachers are there to help you to achieve the best you can and they have the right to be treated with respect. However, you have the right to be treated with respect too and should not be made to feel stupid, called names or unfairly punished.

If you feel a teacher is bullying you, think about what you would like to do and talk to either your bullying counsellor or another teacher.

By someone in your family

Although every family has arguments, sometimes they can and do get out of hand. Families can be changed when parent’s divorce or a new baby arrives. Some parents/carers have problems with alcohol or drugs. Brothers and/or sisters can also be hurtful.

If you feel someone in your family is bullying you, talk to a teacher/friend or counsellor who may be able to help you work out how to speak to that person about what they are doing and the effect it is having on you. For further information on Domestic Abuse, click here.

By another pupil

Everyone wants to fit in with others of their own age and sometimes we do and/or say things or behave in a certain way because we don’t want to be left out. It can be hard to say NO when people are putting you under pressure. Many people think if they tell anyone, the situation will just get worse. This is not always the case. Talk to an adult/bullying counsellor about the situation. They can help you to deal with what is going on.

By a gang

When bullying involves group of people, physically hurting a person, it is very serious. Sometimes, for people watching it can be difficult to know if the pushing, pulling and jostling is just messing around, or a real attack.

If you are frightened of someone or a gang of people because they have said they are going to hurt you, you must talk to someone. Even if the bullying takes place outside of school, you can still talk to a teacher or bullying counsellor. They can be very helpful and help you decide what to do. You may decide you want a parent to meet you from school or you may want to involve the community police. Whatever you decide, your teacher/counsellor can help you.

What can you do?

• Tell someone – it won’t go away on its own and it could get worse. Talk about it with someone you can trust.
• Don’t retaliate – you may end up getting seriously hurt or in trouble.
• Keep a record of each account of bullying. Save any nasty texts/emails you are sent. Write down what has happened, when it happened, where you were and who was involved. It might help to write how you feel about each bullying incident as well. Our ‘bullying diary’ can be downloaded by clicking here
• Never Give Up. It is not your fault and you don’t deserve it.

Other things that may help

• If possible, keep away from the bullies. If you don’t feel safe, try to stay with another group.
• Ask your friends to look out for you.
• Even if you don’t feel like it, try to act more confident. Body language can say a lot about a person. Hold your head up and walk tall. Even if you don’t feel confident, you will definitely look it and this may make the bullies think twice about picking on you.
• If you receive any nasty/threatening texts, emails or messages show someone you trust, (friend, family member, teacher). If the text, message or email is life threatening, take it to your local police station and explain what has been happening.
• Have a look at your schools Anti Bullying Policy and find out how they aim to prevent bullying.
• If your school has a Peer Mentor Scheme it may help to speak to them.

Places to Avoid

If possible, try not to be on your own and stay with your friends. If you do find yourself alone, try and avoid the following places:

• The Toilets
• The Gym
• Changing Rooms
• Empty Classrooms

If you find yourself alone during break/lunch times, try and stay close to other people so the bullies don’t find you on your own. This also applies to the school bus. Try and sit as close to the front as possible so the driver can see what is going on. If possible, try not to walk to and from school by yourself. If you don’t live near your friends, ask a member of your family to walk with you. Avoid any shortcuts, lanes or alleyways. It might be a drag walking the long way round but you need to stay safe.

Don’t be afraid to talk to someone about what has been happening to you or to show someone any nasty text messages/emails. Remember, words hurt just as much, if not more, than actions and can be very upsetting. Make a stand and talk about it to someone you can trust. Sometimes it helps to write things down. If you find this easier, write down all that has happened to you and show it to someone you can trust. If you want to, you can send it to us via e-mail. We would be happy to hear from you and we will respond to all emails.

You may find it helps to talk to others in the same situation. Our Online Mentors are available between 5pm – 8pm daily.

Don’t try and deal with the bullying alone. By confiding in your parents/teacher/friend/ or email us, you can talk over what has happened and the best way to deal with it.

Sometimes, the person you would usually talk to about being bullied is the person who is bullying you. Adults can and do bully children. They may shout or scare you, make fun of you or tease you. Some adults may use authority to make cruel remarks and unfair comparisons (e.g. ‘It’s clear your brother/sister inherited the brains’). Never lose hope – find a sympathetic adult and talk to them about the problem.

Many bullies have problems that they take out on other people so never let the bully win. Never give in to them and always seek help. Always remember that you are not the only one this is happening to. You are not alone – there are always people who want to help you. What is happening is NOT your fault and you DID NOT bring it on yourself. Lastly, you cannot deal with something like this alone.

Learn to assert yourself so that you are able to defend yourself against any attack. Don’t confuse assertion with aggression. Bullies are aggressive and have no respect for others. You need to become assertive. This means you have respect for others but you will not be pushed around – nor will you push others around. In other words, you know how to stand up for yourself without doing so at someone else’s expense. You will learn how to do this at a martial arts class or click here to find out more about our Resilience programme

Why me?

This is something we get asked time and time again. It is hard to say why people sometimes bully others. Some people are bullied for no particular reason. For others, it is because the bully has perceived them to be ‘different’ in some way.

Although not an exhaustive list, people are sometimes bullied because of:

Their weight
Their hair colour
Their race
Their religion
Their personal circumstances
Their sexuality
Their hobbies
Their popularity
Their academic ability
A disability

Don’t allow anything the bully says about you to take root in your mind. If you allow this to happen, you will believe them and be robbed of your self-confidence.

The bully would have won.

REMEMBER, NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT!